Uneasy Peace

Sometimes
I am supposed to be sad
I am supposed to hit a low
I am supposed to doubt

but I find
something
in me

that will not yield to darkness

but lifts my eyes
never letting go of hope

a foundation that can not be moved
a rock and anchor for my soul

...

I have walked in deep darkness before
and found hope while in it's emptiness

somehow I know
whatever happens to me
can only be better than that time

and therein lies my hope
not that there will not be darkness
not that they will not be darker
but that I have passed through them
and now
I stand
with hope
secure.

...

Sometimes
when I have to react in anger
or get into a spin
or loose my grip on reality

I find
something
in me

virtue not asked for - unexpected
a lesson learnt from the past
a stone of remembrance
a strength in the time of need
a treasure from a forgotten store

and then
I am glad

knowing that my heart remembers
even if my mind forgot
knowing that there is good
and that some of it remains.