One week of school vacation. It has been good to rest, and not have to do anything. It gives my heart some breathing space, and I find it easier to connect with God.
A few weeks ago I was looking at my daily declaration that I made at Bethel. I used to read through them every morning, almost without fail. Coming here, I left that discipline, and looked for another way to connect with God. Now I see that I still need what the declarations gave me... a reminder of the nature of God, and an awakening of my spirit - every morning.
Knowing what I needed made mornings easier - seeing that I was not reading thought my declarations as a discipline, but rather as looking for those two specific things. Otherwise I have been reading Psalms, and little bit of Mark. Reading slowly, and meditating on what Psalms says has been my daily devotion. It has kept my life together, and stirred my spirit at times. Verses that 'jump from the pages' I write down and paste on my wall. I only have three so far: Ps 20:2, Ps 34:5, Ps 57:2-3a
I also go to Sunday prayer meetings. Before the prayer meeting, we pray by ourselves and 'hear what God is saying'. These times I feel free to pray as I want to, and see whatever God gives me. Prayer afterwards is good. I have found it is something I enjoy doing - even if I do not pray. Maybe it is because I experience people being 'spiritual' - something that is not the norm (compared to Bethel).
I do miss whacked people. In their presence I feel more relaxed and free. The amount of public manifestations here are a minority, and seldom become the atmosphere. Where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom - and that in itself is a good enough reason to let things get a bit wild sometimes - for others to experience freedom. People rolling on the floor and screaming makes me happy... it tells me something is happening. Well, I have not seen much of that here, but then again, God moves differently on everyone.
I have also found that experiencing the Spirit is the primary aim - not to understand, or to know about the work of God - but to experience His work. It is easy to become an expert at knowing about something, without ever experiencing it yourself. Knowing God is experiential, not mental. This I say, being someone who loves thoughts and revelation. I can eat all the daily bread I want, but I can still miss the person that is the bread of life. I ay get my daily bread by meditation, but life I only get from experience.